Jay clutched Sebastian’s hand, fingers laced tightly together, as he all but dragged the man back to his flat. Sebastian was more than happy to comply; the moment they were inside, he pulled Jay in for another long, heated kiss.
Mindful of Jay’s cracked ribs, Sebastian pressed him tight against the door, his body warm and solid against Jay’s as their mouths moved eagerly together. His clever, wonderful hands dipped beneath the hem of Jay’s hoodie, tracing over his skin, stroking over his back and waist and stomach and up—
Jay’s hands clamped around Sebastian’s wrists, and he pulled back from the kiss. “Don’t touch my chest.”
Sebastian hummed, a quiet noise of assent, and nuzzled into Jay’s neck. He made no effort to free his hands from Jay’s grasp, as if waiting for Jay to put them where he wanted. His lips were hot and coaxing on Jay’s skin, stoking the fire inside him, and so Jay pushed one of Sebastian’s hands down toward his groin.
There was a low groan against Jay’s neck as Sebastian responded eagerly to his wordless demand, grinding his palm against the front of Jay’s jeans. Jay arched up into his touch and grabbed at the front of Sebastian’s shirt, tipping his head back against the door as Sebastian mouthed at his neck, the line of his jaw.
Then Sebastian’s hand was on Jay’s zip, deftly opening it so he could slip his hand inside. Jay gasped as Sebastian explored him with long, rough fingers, slow and careful.
Too careful. Jay bit back a frustrated noise.
Breath hot on Jay’s ear, Sebastian said, “Show me.”
Jay nodded and laid his hand over Sebastian’s, moving it to the rhythm he wanted, encouraging his fingers inside. Sebastian caught on quick, following the lead he was given until Jay was panting and squirming and sweating against the door.
“Good?” Sebastian asked, grinning against Jay’s neck.
In response, Jay grabbed the front of Sebastian’s jeans and squeezed hard.
A wheezing grunt escaped Sebastian’s mouth. “Easy,” he gasped, wrenching his hand out of Jay’s jeans so he could brace both arms against the door.
Jay turned his head to snag Sebastian’s lips in a quick kiss, then slipped away from the door, tugging Sebastian with him. “Get a move on.”
Sebastian followed eagerly, dragging Jay into another kiss as they moved deeper into the flat. Jay hooked his fingers through Sebastian’s belt loops, backing toward the sofa.
Against Jay’s lips, Sebastian mumbled, “Not the sofa.”
Jay ignored him—the bedroom was too far—and dragged Sebastian a few steps further.
Sebastian broke away from the kiss. He hissed, “Not on the fucking sofa,” and his hands dropped to Jay’s thighs, hoisting him entirely into the air.
Jay yelped, a noise of confused shock and arousal. Up until now, his dating pool hadn’t included anyone Sebastian’s size.
It certainly hadn’t included anyone who could pick him up and carry him around.
Sebastian went still, staring up at Jay’s shocked expression with hesitance and concern. For a long moment, time seemed to stop.
Then Jay bent to crash his mouth against Sebastian’s. He ground his hips against Sebastian’s waist, legs wrapping tightly around him.
Sebastian groaned into Jay’s mouth, adjusting his grip, and then he was moving, walking them both into Jay’s bedroom.
He dumped Jay onto the bed, standing over him as he stripped his shirt off. It wasn’t the first time Jay had seen Sebastian shirtless, but this time he was allowed to look. And he took the time to enjoy it; the lithe muscle of Sebastian’s chest and shoulders and arms didn’t have the dehydrated, shrink-wrapped look of the films and magazines. His was a body made to fight, not to be displayed.
Sebastian wasted no time in joining Jay on the bed, bracing himself over Jay’s body. Waiting for him to make the next move. Jay quickly unzipped his hoodie and shrugged it off, too turned on to care that it wasn’t a particularly erotic display—he wanted Sebastian’s hands back on his skin, now.
Jay had started hormones during lockdown, after he’d moved to London. He’d always been brutally thin, but the testosterone gave him an appetite for the first time in his life. There was a quiet, giddy thrill every time he looked in the mirror now—at the sharper lines of his body, the way his arms and shoulders had filled out with the new weight.
Sebastian was the first person to see him naked since he’d started all this. And if the way his hands and mouth moved eagerly over Jay’s skin was any indication, Sebastian liked his body, too.
Jay fumbled at his own waistband, kicking his jeans down and off, and then Sebastian was touching his hips, his thighs, and Jay was tearing at the front of Sebastian’s jeans to work a hand inside.
Most of the pricks Jay had handled before were silicone, but Sebastian was warm and alive in his hand, rocking into Jay’s grip as he groaned softly against his shoulder. He dropped down onto his elbows, his weight blanketing Jay’s body in a way that felt indescribably good—until Jay tried to move and realised with sudden panic that he couldn’t.
Blind reflex brought Jay’s hands up to Sebastian’s shoulders and shoved, hard. For a fraction of a second it was like pushing a brick wall—and then Sebastian eased back under Jay’s hands, and a half-crazed thrill rocked through Jay’s body at the thought that he couldn’t possibly have moved Sebastian if he weren’t willing to be moved.
Whatever Sebastian saw on Jay’s face, the only thing he said was, “All right?”
In response, Jay nudged at Sebastian’s shoulder, pushing him over onto his back. Sebastian went easily, settling against the mattress with his usual lazy grace. “Better?”
Jay nodded, and took a moment to appreciate Sebastian spread out beneath him. His chest hair was soft to the touch, his skin warm and smooth except where Jay’s questing fingers found the faint outlines of small scars—nicks and grazes, here and there. Souvenirs of a decade in the army, no doubt.
Sebastian’s hips shifted restlessly against the bed; his hand went to the back of Jay’s neck but simply rested there, his thumb stroking the line of Jay’s jaw.
Jay’s hand moved back down to Sebastian’s groin and squeezed, gently this time. “Condom?”
Sebastian nodded and retrieved his wallet, kicking his jeans off in the process. He rolled the condom on with practised motions as Jay straddled his hips and knelt over him.
Jay stayed there for a long moment, uncertain, with both hands braced on Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian’s hands came to rest on Jay’s hips; he made no effort to push him down, only held him steady, thumbs rubbing slowly over his hipbones.
With a deep breath, Jay settled into Sebastian’s lap, drawing him inside. Sebastian groaned, low and quiet, his mouth hanging open as he panted softly, a dazed expression on his face. Jay could feel Sebastian’s hammering pulse inside him.
He rocked slowly in Sebastian’s lap, working gradually up to a steady, relentless pace. Sebastian rolled up to meet him; his hands couldn’t seem to stay still, roaming over Jay’s thighs, his hips, reaching up to touch his face.
It was good. It was near-perfect. But some nights it took a long, gruelling effort for Jay to come. And he could already tell this was one of those nights.
And Sebastian was on his way there much faster.
Jay fell forward, laying his body against Sebastian’s, chest to hip, and kissed him deeply as they moved together.
Between one kiss and the next, Sebastian said, “You close?”
“It’s okay.” Jay hid his face in Sebastian’s neck. “Come on.”
Sebastian’s arms wrapped around him, pulling him in tight, and it wasn’t long before he was shivering and bucking beneath Jay’s body. With one last shuddering gasp, Sebastian went still, breath puffing heavily against the side of Jay’s face.
He nuzzled in close to Jay’s ear and murmured, “You didn’t come.”
Jay sighed, face still hidden against Sebastian’s shoulder. “It … it takes a while. Sometimes.”
Sebastian hummed and shifted beneath him. Jay rolled off, and Sebastian sat up, tying off the condom and chucking into the bin next to the bed.
Then he turned and leaned over Jay, gently urging him onto his back. Jay fidgeted against the sheets, but rather than blanket him with his body again, Sebastian slid down the bed, mouth drifting over his skin until he could lay it between Jay’s thighs.
“Fuck,” Jay gasped, arching up off the mattress, still sensitive and aching.
Sebastian looked up at him and said, “Good?”
Jay could only manage a shaky nod in response, and Sebastian went back to it. The movements of his mouth were slow and careful, exploring Jay like he had with his fingers; he experimented, all his incredible perception focused on cataloguing the things that made Jay moan, what made him squirm. Jay managed to garble out, “your hands, I want your hands,” and then Sebastian’s fingers were on him, in him.
A relative age passed as Jay writhed against the sheets, straining and reaching for something just out of reach—until suddenly it was there, right there, and everything quieted to a moment of perfect peace before Jay sobbed in relief and shuddered all over, clutching at Sebastian as if he were the only solid thing in the world.
As Jay collapsed against the mattress, drawing slow, heaving breaths, Sebastian crawled up his body and kissed him. Jay’s mouth opened eagerly against his, clumsy in his exhaustion.
With a reluctant sigh, Sebastian pulled back, bracing himself over Jay’s body as he said, “Want me to stay?”
The question made Jay’s heart lurch in his chest. God help him, he did. He wanted Sebastian here, and he wanted him to be there tomorrow morning, and he wanted to do this again and again—
—god, how much would it hurt when Sebastian got bored or angry or disgusted and decided it was over—
—and the silence stretched between them, growing more awkward by the second.
Sebastian’s expression remained carefully neutral as he pulled back and reached for his clothes.
Jay sat up against the headboard, knees pulled to his chest, as Sebastian dressed. When he was done, Sebastian perched at the edge of the bed and leaned down, capturing Jay’s lips in one last, lingering kiss. His fingers trailed down the side of Jay’s face, along the line of his jaw.
“I’ll text you in the morning,” he said.
And then he was gone, and Jay curled up around the dull ache in his chest.
Leave a Reply