“You can’t be serious.”

Although it was the middle of the afternoon, the light that filtered through Sebastian’s bedroom curtains was thin and grey. Rain pattered against the windows. Jay was warm against Sebastian’s side; he’d come over last night, and since neither of them had anywhere to be today—especially in this weather—a slow, lazy morning had somehow ended up with them spending most of the day in bed.

“Dead serious.” For the past few minutes, Jay had been stroking his fingertips over Sebastian’s chest, teasing down the length of his abdomen before drifting back up. They’d gone two rounds already, but Sebastian had long harboured a suspicion that Jay was accustomed to partners who bounced back faster than the one he had now. “Half the time, I’d barely get into the strap-on before the girl had it in her mouth. One of them even liked to chew on it.”

Sebastian groaned, his whole body—especially the bits below the waist—cringing at the thought. “Why?”

“Some kind of oral fixation thing. Her pens all looked like a dog had got at them.” Jay was clearly amused by Sebastian’s reaction, a crooked grin creeping across his face. “It’s fine. It’s not like I could feel it.”

“But if you can’t feel it, why even do it?”

Jay’s grin widened; he rolled closer, settling over Sebastian’s chest. Leaning in, voice low and sultry, he said, “I can’t feel it when I fuck you, either.”

“All right.” Sebastian rested his hands on Jay’s thighs, thumbs rubbing across his skin. “But I can, so at least one of us is getting something out of it.”

Jay abruptly dropped the bedroom act and raised an eyebrow. “Moran,” he said, voice dry, “are you honestly trying to tell me you don’t enjoy sucking cock?”

They’d been together long enough that Sebastian knew he’d never get away with that claim—not that he wanted to try. “I like doing it for someone,” he said. “I like making them feel good.”

Jay’s smile was back, wry and filthy. “Oh, it feels good.”

Sebastian didn’t bother to hide his scepticism.

“It does,” Jay insisted. “It’s hot, watching them do it. How they look. The noises they make.” He dropped a kiss on Sebastian’s shoulder, then dotted a few more up his jaw until he could bite lightly at Sebastian’s lip. “I can show you, if you want.”

Technically speaking, Sebastian had already given Jay more than a few blowjobs. It was something to do with the testosterone; Jay had enough of what he called “bottom growth” that Sebastian could, if the mood struck, suck him off like he would any other man.

One of Jay’s toys would be a much bigger mouthful, though. And while Sebastian wasn’t one to brag, he considered himself well-practised in the art of fellatio. Maybe this was a chance to show Jay just how good he was.

Sebastian swiped his tongue over the spot Jay had bitten, and nodded.

Jay made a pleased sound and kissed him before rolling off the bed in an eager rush. He’d left a black holdall at the foot of the bed—the bag he used to transport the truly astonishing number of sex toys he owned. Reaching inside, Jay pulled out a knotted mass of buckles and leather straps; with an annoyed huff, he began to arduously disentangle the whole mess.

Sebastian groaned. “Every time,” he lamented. “Do you just throw it into the bag when you’re done with it?”

Jay looked up from his efforts with a flat expression. “You’re complaining an awful lot for someone who just asked to suck my cock.”

Hearing “suck my cock” from Jay sent a rush of heat through Sebastian’s body, even as he rolled his eyes and settled back against the pillows. “Was it all girls?” he asked, after a moment. “Before me, I mean.”

“Mostly.” Jay, having managed to put the harness in order, started buckling it in place. “Harper was agender, and Quinn was sort of …” he waggled a hand indecisively, “… whatever.” He glanced up at Sebastian, the look in his eyes more vulnerable than expected. “Men were … confusing, for a long time. Couldn’t figure out whether I liked them because I wanted them or just because I wanted to be them.”

Sebastian couldn’t honestly say he understood. He’d figured out quite early on who he was and what he wanted; the problem was always that everybody else had figured him out, too. “What changed?”

“I went on hormones.” Jay’s hand spun in a quick gesture that encompassed most of his body. “I started to look like this. All those feelings got … easier to sort out.” He blinked, and that quiet vulnerability disappeared beneath a sarcastic half-smile. “So no, you didn’t turn me. Sorry.”

Sebastian snorted a laugh.

Harness in place, Jay bent and hefted the bag onto the bed; the mattress bounced a little with the impact. Sebastian sat up and peered inside, slightly intimidated as usual by the sheer number of silicone cocks on display.

One, which he’d never seen before, was shaped like an octopus tentacle. “When did you get this one?”

“There was a promotion,” Jay replied, unruffled. “Want to try it?”

“Maybe another time.” Sebastian pushed the tentacle aside and picked out something a little more realistic; with any luck, the familiar shape would help with … whatever they were trying to accomplish here. He turned the dildo over in his hands, carefully inspecting its surface.

“Something wrong with it?” Jay asked.

“Just checking for bite marks.”

A cackling laugh burst from Jay’s mouth. “I had to throw that one out,” he said. “She bit hard enough to break the surface. Wasn’t safe to use anymore.”

Sebastian winced. “God, you really know how to set the mood.”

“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up.” Jay reached out, beckoning for Sebastian to pass him the dildo.

Rather than hand it to him, Sebastian rolled onto his stomach and crawled to the side of the bed. He’d seen Jay do this often enough to replicate the steps, fitting the dildo through the ring at the centre of the harness and fastening the snaps to hold it in place.

The height of the bed put Sebastian at roughly the same level as Jay’s hips. Jay’s hand slid into Sebastian’s hair, coaxing him forward, and Sebastian leaned in, loosely gripping the base of Jay’s cock with one hand as he drew his lips across the head in a slow, lingering kiss.

Jay breathed out a quiet sigh, fingers curling against Sebastian’s scalp. Sebastian glanced up to see Jay looking down at him, watching intently as Sebastian took him into his mouth.

The weight sliding across his tongue was familiar—although it was odd not to feel a pulse—and while it was cooler than he was used to, after a few seconds the silicone began to absorb the heat of Sebastian’s body. Whoever had made the toy put some effort into ensuring the texture felt like skin, albeit strangely flavourless skin.

Sebastian pulled off a little and pushed forward again, working his mouth over Jay’s cock like he would with the real thing. He took it a little deeper with each bob of his head, rolling his tongue along the shaft even though Jay couldn’t feel it, just to show off.

Jay’s fingers clenched in Sebastian’s hair, urging him on as his hips rocked into the movement of Sebastian’s head. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous.”

Sebastian moaned in response, the sound muffled around Jay’s cock. Once he started he couldn’t stop, desperate needy noises whining out of him every time it filled his mouth.

Jay was still staring at him, panting roughly, lips hanging open, flushed all down his neck and chest—and Sebastian was barely touching him. All that was just from watching Sebastian suck a lump of silicone.

Sebastian held his gaze, moving his hand to hold Jay by the hip as he pushed forward, taking his cock deeper and deeper until his lips touched the ring of the harness, the tip hitting the back of his throat. His eyes flooded with tears, and he finally had to squeeze them shut.

“Oh, fuck,” Jay moaned, shocked and breathless.

Sebastian pulled back only a little before doing it again, and again, bullying his throat against the head of Jay’s cock until he finally hit his limit and had to pull off with a ragged gasp. His cheeks were wet with tears, lips and chin slick, and Jay was grabbing at his face with both hands to drag him up onto his knees, kissing Sebastian like he wanted to eat him alive.

“Fuck me,” Sebastian begged, struggling for breath between one kiss and the next. “Please fuck me.”

Jay made a noise of visceral agreement against Sebastian’s lips and pushed at his chest, tumbling him back onto the bed and crawling over him, fumbling at the bedside table for the tube of lubricant Sebastian kept in the drawer.

Sebastian was sure Jay’s cock had to be wet enough already, but Jay was always so diligent about this. He loved to hold Sebastian down, drag him around, shove him, bite him—but if there was any real risk Sebastian might get hurt, he was obsessively careful to make sure it didn’t happen.

It left a sweet ache somewhere at the centre of Sebastian’s chest.

While Jay slicked up his cock with one hand, he hooked the other under one of Sebastian’s knees and pushed it up to his chest; he wasn’t strong enough to keep Sebastian folded in half for any length of time, and so Sebastian covered Jay’s hand with his own, helping to hold himself open as Jay pushed inside.

Sebastian let his head fall back against the pillows, moaning shamelessly as Jay fucked him. His free hand grabbed at Jay’s shoulder, pulling him in tight to his chest so Jay’s belly stroked along Sebastian’s cock with every frantic thrust.

It seemed like only moments before Sebastian was coming, arching up off the mattress, fingers squeezing tight around Jay’s where they were braced together beneath his knee.

Jay was still moving, buried deep inside Sebastian and making soft, hungry noises as his hips rolled in little circles, grinding himself against the straps of the harness. Sebastian sat up a little, fumbling between them to help Jay along—but before he could even touch him properly, a shiver ran through Jay’s body, thighs trembling as he collapsed forward onto Sebastian’s chest with a shuddering, relieved sigh.

Sebastian stared down at the top of Jay’s head in disbelief. “Did you just—?”

Jay laughed and pressed a clumsy, exhausted kiss to Sebastian’s chest. “Told you it felt good.”

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